When Fang tried to cook
by Ferrero
Summary: This is a whole series of events that's going to occur if Fang ever tries to cook. Not so much of humor, but that's the main idea. FAX.


Max P.O.V.

**A/N My first one shot.**** Hmm, maybe you ****c****an ****c****onsider it as a sequel to my first fan fi****c****tion 'Photographs' or just treat it as an individual fi****c****tion.**

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**When Fang ****tries cooking**

"Max!" Iggy shouted. "Where are the eggs?"

"Don't ask me!" I screamed back.

"What do you mean 'don't ask you'?"

"Ask yourself! You're the only one who cooks in this house!" I heard Iggy grumble. I was lying on my stomach reading a comic book listening to some music on my iPod which I got by using the Max Ride card. Well, not really. I got Angel to give me a 90 percent discount.

Then suddenly, "FANG!" Um, what's up with Fang and why is Iggy screaming his name?

I shot out of my bedroom to see what was happening, my motherly instincts were up. I still had the earphones on. When I got to the kitchen, I almost died. Fang looked like he was wearing some cream colored dress with flowers all over it. It took me a while to realize it was an apron. Iggy looked at me questioningly as I rolled on the floor hugging my now aching stomach. Who knew Fang could make me laugh so much?

"Were you trying to cook?" I asked between laughs. Fang nodded his head sheepishly. Fang. Is. Cooking. Then I burst into fresh peals of laughter. Fang cocked his head to one side. Someone bring the best camera you have. Just then, Nudge came into the kitchen intending to find out what I was laughing about. She was holding a camera.

Immediately, the camera disappeared from her hands and appeared in mine, and in a flash of light, I had caught the moment on candid cam. The floor was caked so thickly in flour (and flour was still floating around) that it looked like a snow storm just passed through our kitchen, except it was more cream colored than white.

So Fang was buried ankle deep in flour with a flower dress on. After this, I'm going to upload the photo onto Fang's blog. How evil can I get? Beside me, Nudge was fighting back her laughter unsuccessfully.

Iggy was still looking at me curiously. Nudge whispered something into his ear. He grinned evilly and burst out laughing. All this while, Fang was standing stock still in a flowery dress. Collecting myself (this is a very hard thing to do), I walked unsteadily toward Fang. His face showed no emotion, except for the light blush blooming at his cheek. I snapped another photo.

Fang looked at me as if he just noticed I was a living thing. Humph. Yeah, I'm so a distorted flower vase. "Why were you attempting to cook or blow up the whole kitchen?" I asked. From the looks of the kitchen, I can safely infer than something very unsafe had just occurred. Like Fang had just planted a bomb in the flour bag and another in the microwave oven. That pretty much sums it up. Jeez, why did Fang even want to use a bomb? Didn't he know he'll be dead meat (rather, dead muscle) if I found out about it? Which I did.

Then a grain of flour landed softly on Fang's nose. I giggled, and then laughed, and then guffawed. If you haven't noticed, these are all different levels of laughing. Fang looked at me, again, then tackled me to the flour…er…floor. He sent the flour that had settle flying like someone just set and atomic bomb here and laughed. Seriously, he laughed. Anyone seen Fang laugh before? I snapped another photo. Then he pinned me down with his hands on both sides of my body and himself above me.

Oops, when someone's got claustrophobia, pinning them down is last thing you want to do.

I panicked and started kicking, my arms started flailing. Fang grinned evilly at me. Oh my, don't tell me—then he kissed me, just like that.

Before I could even kiss him back, he pulled away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to pull him closer, but he just snickered and continued pulling back. By now, both Fang and I looked like ghosts, and Nudge was staring at us. Then she whispered something to Iggy, who, once again, looked completely clueless, then he smirked.

Nudge didn't just tell him _that_ did she? I placed the camera on the floor, walked out of the kitchen quietly to my bedroom and locked the door. My bedroom has an adjoining bathroom, which, somehow, was connected to Fang's room. Which stupid architect did that decision? He must be punished.

I got into the bathroom and turned the shower on, enjoying the feel of having the flour get stuck but fall off slowly after I put some soap on. But the problem is, I couldn't get the flour out of my fingernails. And it's all Fang's doing. Sometimes he's really an idiot, but sometimes, he is…attractive. Take just now for example.

I allowed the water to continue running as I thought about what just happened. Seriously, I don't like Fang, do I? I sat down and hugged my knees, the water pelting me as if I were an enemy. Fang. He's my best friend and all. Heck he's practically my whole world. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. If he were to just…disappear, she would not be able to keep herself together, don't even talk about the keeping the Flock together.

Then I unfolded my wings, and wrapped them around me, giving them a good wash. Just then, the door leading from the bathroom to Fang's room opened. I gave a startled cry. Fang recognized my wings and his eyes widened, then he quickly returned to his room, shutting the door, his face still full of flour. Thank goodness for my wings.

I turned off the shower and got out, grabbing a fluffy towel to dry myself. Then I put on some fresh new clothes and opened the door to Fang's room. I stuck my head through the door. "Fang, I'm done. You can use the bathroom now."

I saw him sitting crossed legged staring at something outside his window. "Fang?" He didn't hear me. Oh goody! Silently, I crept up behind him, and then zapped him in the waist area. He yelped and turned to look at me. He should really do something about all that flour. He's practically filling his room with it. His room looked like a typical junk yard. Orange juice cartons, smell cheesy socks, lots of torn and tattered books (does he even know how to read?), boxers—wait, what were his boxers doing on the floor? I looked at him, raising one eyebrow. He grinned sheepishly, again.

"Now, bathe." Fang shook his head. In one movement, he landed on me, and I landed with an 'oof'. Not very graceful, but why would Fang care? He was the one who made me fall in the first place. He had an evil smirk on his face. Uh oh. In a desperate attempt to wipe it off, I kissed him, hard, on the lips. And that worked. He practically melted.

You know how you sometimes get so caught up in things that you don't notice anything else? Well, I got so caught up with Fang that I didn't even hear Nudge open Fang's door and snap picture. I'm so going to kill her. Fang's hand found their way to my waist and pulled me closer. What, still not satisfied, eh, Fang? I brought my hands up to his hair, toying with his long black locks.

Note to self: Drag Fang to the hairdresser's.

I pressed against his lips harder. He moaned. Oh, this is so good. Fang, moaning. What had the world become? Blackmailing is the only thing to do when you have a moaning Fang. I was really gleeful I was the one who made him moan. Then I tilted my body so that now, I'm the one on top. Slowly, Fang trailed a finger over my spine, forcing me to shudder a little. He smirked against my lips.

As a punishment, I pulled back. Then I grinned at him. He protested, but I have a strong side too. Now it's _my_ turn to torture him. I shook my head, "Nope, bathe first, then tidy your room. After that, make sure the kitchen and your bedroom are both free of flour. Finally, go to the grocer's to get another bag of flour. When you're done with that, come to my room."

Fang groaned but did them.

I smirked. I did have a way with him.

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**A/N I thought I might just add maybe one or two more stories seeing that my father forgot to turn the internet off. He ****he**


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